LEMONS
by JaJimmeh
Summary: Im writing lemons because lemons are awesome. HOLLAAA!
1. Chapter 1

On day Aragog said

"Mcgonagall/Ron

Dumbledore/Nagini

Aberforth/Igor Karkaroff

Hermione/Nearly Headless Nick

Harry/Dementors

Armando Dippet/ Great Squid

Fudge/Cedric Diggory."

"These will be the pairings" said Lucius Malfoy then him and Aragog started making out voraciously Aragog grabbed Lucius malfoys face with his claws and put his mouth onto Luciuses and looked into Luciuses two eyes with all 8 of his "I love you my dear Lucius"


	2. Chapter 2

Part one Mcgonagall and Ron

So one day Professor Mcgonagall was in her classroom teaching a class or something and then Ronald Weasley forgot to turn in his homework "YOU BASTARD!" screamed McGonagall, then she hit with a ruler for a punishment. Ron started to cry then Mcgonagall felt bad so then she confronted him by putting her arms around him, "Ronny baby Im sorry I didnt mean to hurt you." They realized "I love you" proclaimed McGonagall, and she kissed him on the mouth. He started taking her clothes off then she put her you-know-what into his and they did it for the very first time. It was really hot and Mcgonagall was really old but thats ok because it meant she was really experience


	3. Chapter 3

**Why do you report I followed all the instructions and its rated M which is the correct rating for inappropriate content. Also Im a guy so you cant call me a bitch.**

Part two Dumbledore and Nagini  
Dumbledore was in his office then someone called on the phone. "HELLO" "I NEED A PET SHITTING SERVICE FOR MY SNAKE NAGINI Im going to the cayman islands this weekend and I dont got any place to put her" So they brought Nagini to the Hogwarts and it went up to Dumbledores office. He was bored and his girlfriend had just brake up with him because he was too old so he took the snakes thingy and put it in hi THINGY and they had you-know-what. It was kind of slimy and scaly but not whet because I hard somewhere that snakes arent actually whet when you touch them. It was so hot that Dumbledore past out from the extortion.


	4. Chapter 4

**Please review I want to know if these lemons are too hot to be allowed on fanfiction site or should I make them more child appropriate**

Part four Hermione and Nick  
Hermione was in the Griffindor common room and she was doing stuff when all of a sudden.. "NEARLY HEEDLESS NICK!" screamed a voice. Hermione couldnt see who it was because it was invisible and it was invisible. "I WANT TO SEX WITH YOU" Okay said Hermione then she took of her clothes. Nick pit his invisible thingy in her thingy. Except it was like they werent really doing it because he was a ghost so his thingy didnt really exist. So I was just sorta like phone sex.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi thanks for rading but Ive got almost 1000 thousand reviews but no reviews yet. PLEASE REVIEW. I want to know if everyone else likes my story as much as I do**

Part five Harry and the Dementors.  
Harry got in treble for doing underage magic by using magic to die his shoes by magic, so he was called to the Mystery of Magic for a herring "I HEREBY DECLARE.." said Fug the mister of magic. "YOU TO GET THE KISS OF THE DEMENTORS." They brought to Dementors but then the Dementors started to kiss Harry, except then harry started to kiss them back which made they surprised so then they" they started to kiss harrys ass and DID IT with him. It was sexy. Harry mad "uh uh " sounds and the dementors made dementor sounds it was fucking hot. harrys whole body felt like it was in fire and he passionately grabbed the dementors cloak and pulled it towards him and grabbed its face and made out with it hotly. Then his soul disappeared and he died and the dementors were sad cause they loved Harry. They build a enormous alter in memory of im and put the corpse at the top like a statue.


	6. Chapter 6

**Why would I be comedic Im trying to write lemons that are hot and romantic and explicit with pairings that no one else had written yet me how Im doing this was supposed to be the last one in this series but I might write more in the future.**

 **Thank you for good review. PLEASE REVIEW more. Thanks. I know your watching I got like 23k views yet and nobody is reviewing.**

Part six Armando Dippet and the great squid  
One day Armadillo Dippet was out swimming in the great lake. He was skinny dipping so he wasnt wearing any clothes on. He went into he water and swim around and then alll of a sudden...a GREAT SQUIB started having you-know-what with him. "HEY" said Dipshit then but realized it actually fell really good so he stopped. He want in the water and started making out with the squid. The squid began taking off his cloths and then the squid had 2 you-know-whats so it put one in each hole then they started banging furiosuly, it was so beautiful and harmonic, Dipshit put his thing in the squid and it sent out INK. Then Dipshit realized he was under the water and he couldnt breath underwater so he died. His body sank under the waves and deep into the deep darkness of the water. The quid tried to rescue him but it was to late he was already dead died from the passion of heat of making love to his one true lover.


	7. Chapter 7

Part seven Digorry fudge

One beautiful spring morning Cedric Digorry was dong his homework out by the great lake when all of a sudden there was FUDGE. He exactingly threw his homework in the ocean and ran over to meet Fudge  
"Hello" Fudge came over.  
"OH damn am I in trouble" he said nervously Diggory.  
"Nope" said Fudge, sexily, removing off his shirt. Diggory stared happily for he had always had a crush on the hot minister of magic. He began to pull off his cloths and Fudge who was already partway underdressed helped him remove them. He took of his pants, shirt, underwear, and socks, then both of them were naked. Diggory was staring at Cedrics handsome body. He was staring at the handsomely chiseled profile of his face and his jawline, which, was covered with hair, and his hair which was the dark color of chocolate midnight. His abs were like rock hard mussels. Diggory also stared at Fudges body. Fudge was old but not wrinkly because he had used magic to do stuf to himself to keep from looking old, his mussels were enormous from being so old because he had had 60 years to perfect his 6 pack, and his face was smooth and perfect as a mirror. They admired each other for at least an hour before they began.  
"OH" screamed Diggory with pleasure as Fudge did something sexy.  
"OH OH OH OH OH"  
They both cried and held each other in there arms until the sun rose red as the dawn.


End file.
